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You and Your Ageing Parents (K. Beckham & J. Nolan, 1991)
Usually we avoid thinking about the possibility that someday one or both of our parents will become dependent and often are not prepared to handle our loved one's or parents’ increasing dependency. Below is a helpful list of how you might approach some issues when your parents age.
Talk about issues with your parents or loved one - try to talk with your parents or person concerned and discuss what may happen before a crisis develops. Ask what they want if they could no longer live at home. Explore options and devise plans.
Accept feelings - Increasing physical or mental dependency of elderly parents can be a reminder of their mortality (and our own). You may need to readjust perceptions of your parents.
Talk about it - If you can express feelings to someone who listens and understands it makes it easier to deal with difficult emotions.
Build confidence - Too much loving protection can undermine self-esteem. Although the desire to overprotect is natural, it's usually the last thing an older person wants or needs. Strive for balance - people resent forced dependency.
Promises - Be careful not to make promises such as ‘We'll never put you in a nursing home or ‘You can always live with us’. You may not be able to live up to them. Learn about the aging process - Physical and mental changes in later years are disheartening but by learning about life's stages we are better able to understand aging.
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